Audrey was the bravest lady I ever had the privilege of knowing. Not only did she face up to the most evil disease imaginable, MND, with incredible courage but she had also battled with and beaten breast cancer, equally bravely 14 years earlier. I wish I could say I had even a fraction of her courage. I am not competent to write much about Audrey's early life, before I met her, because I wasn't there. However I believe there are many happy anecdotes to be remembered so must prevail on Audrey's siblings, Chris and John, her children Kelly and Donna and other family members and friends to fill in the gaps and write the 'prequel' to my own memories, plus anything else, whether from Audrey's younger days or more recent memories. Please, everyone, write from your heart. Let us all share your memories of the wonderful lady who was (and always will be) Audrey. I became a part of Audrey's short life in December 1986, when I was called to install a TV aerial at the flat in Banks Walk that Audrey had just moved into along with Kelly and Donna. It didn't really matter that the aerial installation I'd done wasn't very good because within a couple of weeks of our first (and only) date they all moved in with me at Rose Cottage. In that short time I had become so besotted with Audrey that I thought I would explode with happiness. I suspect that she must have had similar feelings for me because she stayed with me for the rest of her life .... another 24 years and 27 days .... mas o menos! When Audrey first invited me into her life she was still suffering from the insecurity and fear that years of abuse at the hands of a cowardly wife beater, (who wasn't even worthy of licking her wellies after she'd just mucked out the pigs), had left her with! An example: After our first few ecstatically happy weeks together Audrey decided to try to give up smoking, (ironically, for her health). A couple of weeks later I became concerned that this beautiful young lady, with whom I had fallen madly in love, had suddenly come to her senses and realised that she was living with someone much older than herself, (13 years) and was looking for a way to tell me that she wanted out. She had become quiet and withdrawn and wouldn't tell me what was wrong in spite of my pleas. I was convinced I was history and I felt devastated. Eventually, after more pleading, I asked her straight out if she was fed up with me and wanted out. There came a look of complete astonishment across her face, "Oh no" she said "it's nothing like that"! "Then what is it"? I pleaded once more .... "I've started smoking again" she answered and then shrank back away from me as if expecting an explosion. There was an explosion .... but it was laughter, from me! I was laughing through sheer relief but at the same time I felt terrible that she had been so terrified of telling me in case I reacted like her violent ex would have done. "You're not supposed to laugh" she sobbed, as her own relief that her 'terrible' secret was out took hold, "you're supposed to be angry". How could I not melt at such a demonstration of innocent insecurity? All I ever wanted to do after that was protect her from the hurt that life brings us. In the final analysis, I have failed miserably because I couldn't protect her from the evil that is Motor Neurone Disease however much I wanted to. Gradually, over the following months and years, Audrey relaxed more as she realised that I wasn't like her ex and that his sort are actually in the minority. By the time we had been living together for three months, I asked her to marry me but we didn't get officially engaged until May 20th 1987. Exactly one year later, May 20th 1988 I became Audrey's very proud husband when we were married at the United Reformed Church in Bury St Edmunds, a somewhat surprising choice of venue for anyone who knew Audrey as she was staunchly anti-religious ... as am I. Her choice of a church wedding was explained by her first wedding being a register office affair that apparently left her feeling cheated out of every girl's dream of being a bride, dressed in the traditional white dress with all the trimmings. On our wedding day Audrey looked fabulous as she finally fulfilled her dream of having a white wedding. For my part, I loved her so much that I'd have married her even if she'd been dressed as a bag lady! For me, lovely though it was, the dress didn't matter at all, it was who was inside it that mattered to me .... Audrey. (Sorry Joyce it's a beautiful dress and I've still got it but I'd rather we'd lost the dress and still had Audrey). For the next nine years we lived a very happy but uneventful life. We both worked hard, Audrey working nights at the West Suffolk Hospital where she cared for very many elderly and terminally ill patients with her gentle and compassionate manner. In the autumn of 1996 I was put on a very long waiting list to have a by-pass operation on my heart. A few months later Audrey found a lump in her breast and despite our hopes that it wasn't serious ... it was! Audrey had got breast cancer. In May 1997 Audrey underwent a mastectomy operation at West Suffolk Hospital in Bury St Edmunds, followed by months of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. She suffered all the agonies of chemo with total loss of her beautiful long hair and feelings of nausea etc. but she didn't complain about her lot and carried on working throughout apart from when she was an in-patient. With such a brave example set for me by Audrey, how could I feel nervous when my operation took place the following February? We didn't know it then but Audrey had beaten Breast Cancer ... it never returned. Having both had close encounters with potentially fatal conditions, we decided not to put off doing things that we wanted to do 'one day' and I'm so glad we made that decision because we had absolutely no idea of the horror that would descend on Audrey 10 years later. Audrey had always longed for another dog ever since her beloved Sally had died in the mid nineties ..... so .... after much research .... Audrey decided we would get a Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier puppy. Thus in the autumn of 2000 Mollie became an important part of our family .... and still is. We also took some long delayed holidays ... the most memorable of which was our trip to Russia .... a dream of Audrey's since she had been a little girl listening to the tales told by a Russian friend of her Dad's. After a few days in Moscow staying in a hotel with views of Red Square and St Basil's Cathedral (Audrey's dream to see) we moved on to St Petersburg where amongst other delights we attended a live performance of Tchaikowsky's ballet Swan Lake in the city where it was written. Audrey was captivated by the ballet .... which amazed me as she was a 'heavy metal' fan normally! Back home I had another 3 years to work before I could retire ... at which point we made a decision to take ourselves off to Spain to see if we'd like to live there. We decided we would .... but it was 2006 before we actually could .... although we did take some extended 'holidays' there in the meantime. Sadly the 'dream' only lasted 2 years before the first symptoms of Motor Neurone Disease started. Audrey had always seemed to be a healthy, normal young lady .... full of the joys of life .... but she suddenly developed a slight lisp .... which we all laughed about to start with .... but quickly stopped laughing when we discovered that it was due to the onset of Motor Neurone Disease. Once diagnosed .... the 'dream' was over as we returned to the UK so that Audrey could live out her remaining life near to her children and family. Her last year was spent with us moved in to live with Donna and Andy .... where Audrey eventually died in the early hours of 23rd January 2011 ..... in bed .... by my side. Audrey suffered from the 'Bulbar' variant of MND which caused her to lose her ability to speak first .... followed by her ability to swallow .... so for her last 6 months she had to be fed through a tube directly into her stomach .... and finally her internal organs were affected rendering her unable to breathe. Audrey had effectively 'suffocated' to death through lack of oxygen. Although her limbs were beginning to show signs of weakening ... she retained full use of them to the very end ... even taking a shower the previous day .... in fact she took care of all her own hygiene needs to the very end. Audrey's nursing training stayed with her as well .... she had kept a meticulous record of everything that went down the tube to her stomach ... every drop of feed .... medication ... and fluids were recorded on her daily chart. Her last ever entry being made only 2 hours before she died ..... she'd even added up the totals for the day. I shall never know a braver ... more wonderful lady than my dearly loved Audrey .... who never once 'whinged' about her fate .... but accepted it as 'just one of those things that happen' and was more concerned with other people's trifling problems than with her own. 18 months on from losing her .... I still cry for her many times every day .... and I will love her for ever. I will love you for ever Audrey my poor Darling ..... Robin ..... x x x x x x ... x x x x x x x x x To be continued....